Day 1, October 7th 1950
I still do not feel like I belong here, they never told me their reasoning for putting me in this looney bin but it cannot be that good. I miss home I miss breathing fresh air and eating good food. Now I’m stuck in this one building with so many people and not so nice doctors. I get one phone call a day for about three minutes and I try to tell my mom that i do not belong here, i am not like these people. I might be a little messed up but i am not insane.
Day 4, October 11th 1950
They took my book from me, which shouldn’t be aloud. It’s my coping skill to cope with this place and we are a loud to have journals but they said I write too much. Which does not make sense because there is no such thing and we only have a short period of free time and that’s the only time i write. Anyway my days here so far are not so bad but these people… they are not like me. This one male i think he’s schizophrenic, and this other girl i think she is too. They are who belong here, not I.
Day 5, October 12th 1950
Okay so i definitely DO NOT belong here. We had our first real sit down group and the Male with the schizophrenia , his name it justin and I was sitting next to him when he started whispering to himself. I started to listen he started to say “shut up” and “I cant” and “I dont know why he won’t stop talking” and then he stop and looked up in horror and pointed at the wall. I looked. Nothing was there, then he looked over at me with the same expression I asked him if he was alright and he responded quickly “yeah yeah im okay” and put his head down.
Day 7, October 14th 1950
They took my book again which is okay because they said im having a meeting with my family so hopefully im getting out soon and get to find out why they even put me in here in the first place. Im just going to make the best of the next couple days or however long so the time will fly by.
Day 9, October 16th 1950
So they made it a thing to take my book for one day after the day I get to have it. I guess im okay with that so i can learn more about everyone. Like today the girl with schizophrenia her name was sophie and she tried to run out of the building when a doctor entered, she doesnt talk and shes very scared of everyone and loud noises, and this other girl Rachael she is very egotistical and she is really bossy when it comes to sophia, she will tell everyone to be quiet or to not move quick near her or even try to feed her. Rachael is also really hyper i think she has ADHD. She is very aggravating and i do not like when she acts like she is the doctor trying to tell people what is wrong with them and what they need to do. I just cannot wait to get out of here.
Day 11, October 18th 1950
Today my parents came in and talked to the doctors, they got to see how other people are in here and they believed this place wasnt for me. I got to ask , why ? Why was i placed in here? They said because people were complaining. About what? Because i barely talked to people . Because i shut myself out in stressful situations instead of reacting like a “normal person” because i have social anxiety? My mom did not want me in here but she just wanted me to get help. I have to sleep here this night and i think i leave tomorrow im so happy , and cannot wait.
Day 12, October 19th 1950
I get to leave! My mom said only if i cant try to be more social. And i knew i did not want to be back in a place like that . Actual insane people go there . I only have to talk more to people and that i can do as long as i am not labeled “crazy” when there are real live serious crazy people existing in this world. 12 days in Rockfield Clinic . And i will never be back there again.